Reflecting a Life Worth While

A.     Physical Wellbeing-I rate my physical wellbeing a 6-7/10 on the scale of optimal wellbeing. When I think physical I am thinking about my body and whether or not it is physically fit. I have been working on improving my physical health over a long period of time and have made great strides to a healthier lifestyle. Ten years ago I weighed 408 lbs. on the day that I gave birth to my first child (son). Today, I weight 260 lbs. after shedding 50-60 lbs. on my own and undergoing a weight loss surgical procedure in September 2013. I am continuing to lose weight but have endured various changes throughout (physically, mentally, and emotionally). I can jog a short distance in between my long walks now and it makes me feel great because that is something that I was not able to do before. I now have two children that I am trying to teach about physical wellbeing so that they do not have to spend half of their life reversing what they originally became like I did. Overall, despite having been morbid obese I was of great health without co-morbidities like most people (i.e., hypertension, diabetes, sleep apnea).

UPDATE: Today I weigh 255 lbs. This means that I have only lost 5 lbs in the past few weeks, but I also have to give myself credit because I had surgery 6 weeks ago and was unable to physically be active the way I typically would like to be. I returned back to work yesterday and have already implemented positive enforcement regarding my physical wellbeing. On the scale of optimal wellbeing I originally rated myself as teetering from a 6-7/10 and now have rated myself a solid 7/10.  

B.     Spiritual Wellbeing-I rate my spiritual wellbeing an 8/10 on the scale of optimal wellbeing. I am very in touch with my surroundings and ways that I can center myself when I feel off track. At times it is difficult to task when various distractions are occurring at the same time. There is always room to improve. I am trying to alter my connections in relationships to a positive level and fade out the negative links that are not of any beneficial gains. My personal values are in place and my purpose in life is strong-willed. Furthering my education, working on my personal health, ensuring that my children and mother are safe and well-supported and maintaining a shelter (my home) are important pieces of my life.

UPDATE:  My spiritual wellbeing has remained unchanged as an 8/10 on the scale of optimal wellbeing. I have undergone two life altering surgical procedures within the past 11 months and have to provide myself with an optimistic reflection on how far I have come through all of the walks of life I have endured thus far.  

C.     Psychological Wellbeing-I rate my psychological wellbeing a 6/10. I have struggled with an anxiety disorder and depression and have been trying to gain control over the symptoms during all of my mental, emotional, and physical changes since my weight loss. This was a huge life change not just for me but for my children and mother (they are my only family). Each day I coach myself to think in a positive manner and cut out anything (including things like social drinking) that may be the slightest of negativity in my physical and mental wellbeing.

UPDATE: Psychologically, I am moving myself from a 6/10 to an 8/10. I have to recognize and be aware that if I was not on the level at which I place myself now, then my achievements would never be reached. I have down days, just like anyone else who does have or doesn’t have anxiety/depression. I take that back, of course naturally, everyone has anxiety, but where it controls you is when it becomes a problem. I stepped up to the stage and will continue to behave in the most happiness manner.

STATUS OF MY LIFE:

I am not entirely contented with my life at present. From a well-being point of view, I feel that I am less able to realize my potential than most people, all other things being equal. I am not feeling much in the way of optimism at present, but this could be related to multiple stressful events within a short period of time and an upcoming surgery and recovery to overcome. I find it hard to trust others fully and feel that I have few people you can turn to for help. However, there are a couple of people that I feel can provide guidance and support, one being my mother. I may benefit from self-help materials through personal support from a professional perspective.

UPDATE: I returned back to work full duty as of yesterday after six long weeks of recovery after a major gynecological surgery performed in July. My mother has been quite the irritating person over the weeks despite me hardly being around her. I thought I was going to enjoy the time off, but it was the opposite. I found myself procrastinating and feeling irresponsible and not being that strong and achieving individual that I have on occasion viewed myself as being. I try daily to remind myself of the changes in my health and wellness over the past year and that I am still healing from all and learning to adapt. Yesterday, my life felt like it returned to normalcy as I returned to work and began working with patients who have their own set of health and wellness concerns. I was able to concentrate on them and not worry about me. I picked myself back up again after being down and can only go up from here.

GOALS:

There are various ways in which I can handle stress through coping mechanisms. My goals are to remind myself daily of the various changes that have occurred over the years and how I was able to overcome all of those obstacles and see that what is happening now may be different, but not at all different with regard to it being a challenge that I will still defeat successfully. I will identify each personal meaning of each change and recognize the feelings I am experiencing and question myself how I can adjust to each change. I need to be more mindful and take my time at making decisions, especially those that I am anticipating in the future (i.e., major surgery, transition in college degree to nursing and clinical). With a slow and steady pace I will win the race and it will get done. My accomplishments are viewed as a continuation of my daily life and not a road block or a destination to be reached. Self-compassion and patience will be learned more in depth and understanding that it is not abnormal for people (such as myself) to become overwhelmed by life’s stressors. I will learn to recognize those things that I can control and those that I cannot control, and, when possible, will decide on which modifications I want to take on.

UPDATE: There is not a day that goes by without me self-encouraging even when ¾ of my day may consist of a depression episode. Even when I find others around me speaking positive words, I sometimes feel like they are lying because they don’t know what it feels like to be me and have more than a boat load of responsibilities without help. When I read my previous goals I can tell that I was more upbeat and optimistic. I may not quite feel that strong today but will work up to it with more rest and after surviving my six day work week and starting my nursing classes as of next week.  

IMPROVING WELLBEING:

The following are ways in which I will improve to improve my physical, spiritual, and psychological wellbeing:

1. Create contentment in my life’s situation

2. Make time to be alone and locate my inner peace

3. Sit back and reflect on life’s situations to resolve worries

4. Experience satisfaction for a job that I have done well

5. Become more involved in a physically active lifestyle (i.e., hiking a mountain, site seeing), so that I be sure I am not viewing life as a passenger but rather from the driver seat with my seatbelt fastened securely that the life that I hold

6. Balance and life control needs to be managed and sustained

7. Establish and create relationships worthwhile

8. Each day I wake up I need to rehearse that I have a meaning and life and a purpose

9. I will accept growth and the dares of life

UPDATE & WHAT I AM TAKING FROM THIS CLASS:

1.      Working on contentment because I have been very confused in my personal life. I am dating a new and extremely respectful and caring individual that I never expected to meet or even feel as good as I do when I am with him.

2.      In all of my six weeks of spare time I did not give myself a lot of alone time, but when my anxiety was increased and I could sense it, I forced myself to be alone so that I could think clearly and work towards the inner self that is peeling through the layers to be exposed.

3.      I am constantly reflecting on life encounters and solutions are all I want so that stress can be avoided.

4.      I still feel satisfaction to an extent but because of my leave of absence from work I feel that it was weakened. I don’t know if this is normal, but I have hope that it will be back to the level it needs to be at in no time!

5.      I am restarting the implementation of healthier eating habits, watching proportion sizes, and finding time to get any exercise no matter the amount of time or distance. Anything is better than nothing. I get off my bottom every day and move about life as I am supposed to and more activities will follow as the seasons change to fall and winter.

6.       Still balancing and managing by way of my individual capacities.

7.      I have bonded with an individual that I never expected to get close to because she is of a different class than I am. I found a new friend that needs my help!

8.      Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. A meaning, a life, a purpose.

9.      Growth transpires every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month, and every year. Life is life and the gambles and challenges that provoke courage!